Today was rather bad i guess. Even though the class seems always to be in high sprits. I just could not feel any happyness within me. I just do not understand, how people like tim and isaac could be so carefree everyday. It just amaze me where how and where do they relief their stress in class. The stress is not like the stress when you are doing badly in test or seeing other people mugging. In fact the stress is more of a mental stress of everyday life in class. ARGH, i am definately going insane sooner or later if this carries on.

I guess lying low for the moment would help, but after much consideration, by lying low, it won't do much help. So i guess walking around and go with the flow would be the best choice. I really don't know what is my actual self, who is the actual me. Most of the time my character and response goes with my mood. If i am happy, i am cheerful, when i am down, i will be very quiet and sian. As the saying goes, a fool who knows he is a fool is not a fool, but a fool who don't know he is a fool, is a fool. Sometimes i act as a fool, sometimes i feel like a fool. Who is the real me ???

I started to get aggitated with Wei Ji and Andrew. Sometimes i just feel like giving Wei Ji a punch in the face whenever he start his attitude thing. I dunno why become so intolerant toward Wei Ji. Guess i just need an outlet for my built up of mental stress. I dunno when or how or is it because i am to over reacting ??? Whenever i go near Wei Ji and Andrew, they will like sing in hokkien " sky very dark ". I don't even know what does it mean, or what it is suppose to mean. I am seriously fed up with that nonsense. If you all know what does it mean, just let me know. Thnks.

If i have accidentally offended you all somehow, just let me know. I am always open to what you all have to say against me. Don't keep it against me. It will not help the class, you and me.

I guess CJC is indeed different from SJI. In SJI, we help each other in times of trouble. We even cheated in class just to help the weaker students. Although whenever we meet, we seemed to be arguing, infact it is more of a way to remind of our class, and its a sign of friendship between us. We would do almost anything to help friends. If we find something is wrong with that person like attitude problem, we try to help him and not to ostracise him. We infact help each other to grow to be better man. But so far in CJC, i only see our class ostracise Vince and Shelby, instead of helping them. I find it rather sad. Sometimes its better to let the person know where he done wrong rather than ostracise him. Although i must agree that sometimes i ostracise both of them.

As the saying goes : Nobody is perfect. True friends are those who do not say how perfect you are but where you can improve.

Hope dangles on a string, Like slow spinning redemption